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Receiving an invitation to a destination wedding that requests guests to pay for their own travel and lodging expenses can be a sensitive matter. Here's an appropriate way to respond:

  1. Express gratitude: Start by expressing your appreciation for the invitation. Thank the couple for including you in their special day and for considering you as a guest.

  2. Confirm attendance or regrets: Let the couple know whether you'll be able to attend or not. If you are unable to attend due to the financial burden, be polite but honest about the reason for your regrets.

  3. Avoid mentioning the financial aspect: When declining the invitation, there's no need to directly mention the financial burden or the fact that guests are expected to cover their expenses. A simple explanation like "Unfortunately, we won't be able to attend due to prior commitments" or "We have some conflicting plans during that time" will suffice.

  4. Share your well wishes: Regardless of your attendance, offer your heartfelt congratulations and best wishes to the couple. You can say something like "We are so happy for you both and wish you a beautiful wedding and a lifetime of happiness together."

  5. Optional: If you feel comfortable discussing finances with the couple and are close enough to do so, you could politely share your concerns about the expenses. However, keep it constructive and avoid sounding resentful or critical.

Here's an example of how your response could look:

Dear [Couple's Names],

Thank you so much for extending the invitation to your destination wedding. We are honored that you thought of us on your special day.

After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that we won't be able to attend the wedding due to some prior commitments. However, please know that our thoughts and best wishes will be with you both on your wedding day. We hope you have a fantastic celebration surrounded by loved ones.

Congratulations once again on your upcoming marriage. We wish you a lifetime of love and happiness together.

Warm regards, [Your Names]

Remember, it's essential to be gracious and polite in your response, regardless of whether you can attend the destination wedding or not. The couple will likely understand that not all guests can make it due to the additional expenses involved in a destination wedding.

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