It's not uncommon for people to have strong feelings for someone who has treated them poorly or doesn't reciprocate their feelings. This complex emotional experience can be attributed to various psychological and emotional factors. Here are some possible explanations:
Emotional Attachment: You might have developed a deep emotional attachment to this person over time. When you invest significant emotional energy into a relationship, it can be challenging to detach yourself from those feelings, even if the person doesn't treat you well.
Familiarity: Familiarity can breed comfort, even in unhealthy relationships. Being with this person might feel like a comfort zone, even if it's not beneficial for you in the long run.
Hope for Change: People often hold onto hope that the person will change and become the person they wish them to be. This hope can be hard to let go of, leading to continued affection for the individual.
Low Self-Esteem: Sometimes, individuals who have experienced mistreatment may have low self-esteem. They may believe they don't deserve better treatment or struggle to imagine finding love elsewhere.
Intermittent Reinforcement: In some cases, the person might show occasional affection or treat you well, creating a cycle of intermittent reinforcement. This can make you crave their attention and affection, even if it's inconsistent.
Fear of Loneliness: The fear of being alone or not finding love elsewhere can contribute to holding onto a relationship that may not be healthy.
Idealization: You might idealize the person and only focus on their positive traits while minimizing the negative aspects of the relationship.
History and Shared Memories: Shared history and memories with this person can be emotionally potent, making it difficult to let go.
Lack of Closure: Sometimes, the absence of closure in a relationship can leave unresolved feelings that continue to affect you.
It's essential to recognize that being in love with someone who has hurt you and doesn't want you is a difficult emotional state. In such situations, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be beneficial. A therapist can help you understand these emotions better, identify patterns, and work towards building healthier relationships and improving self-esteem. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and sometimes that might mean letting go of a relationship that is not serving you in a positive way.