It's essential to recognize that every individual and relationship is unique, and people's perspectives on fidelity and relationships can vary widely. Your girlfriend's statement about how she would respond if you ever cheated on her could be influenced by various factors:
Fear of losing you: She might fear the possibility of losing you completely if you were to cheat on her. By saying she would do the same, she might be trying to communicate that she would attempt to level the playing field and maintain some sense of control over the situation.
Desire for emotional equity: She might believe in the concept of emotional equity, where both partners should experience similar levels of happiness and hurt within the relationship. If she were hurt by infidelity, she might feel the need to inflict a similar pain on you as a form of "justice."
Emotional protection: She could be expressing that if the relationship is damaged by infidelity, she would not immediately end it but rather try to make it work or continue being together until the emotional connection fades away naturally. This could be an attempt to protect herself from immediate heartbreak or the fear of facing the reality of a broken relationship.
Insecurity: Her response could stem from feelings of insecurity or low self-esteem, where she might believe that if you were to cheat, it might be because she's not "enough" for you. In such cases, she may feel the need to retaliate to regain some sense of power or self-worth.
Misguided belief about relationships: Some individuals believe that relationships involve a certain degree of tit-for-tat, meaning that if one person does something hurtful, the other person should do the same to maintain a balance.
Openness about emotions: It's also possible that she is expressing her feelings honestly, even if it might seem unconventional. She might be trying to communicate how hurt and disappointed she would be if infidelity occurred, and her statement might be an emotional response rather than a strategic plan.
It's crucial to have open and honest communication with your partner about such topics, especially given that you are planning to get married. Discussing your feelings, values, and expectations about fidelity and relationships is vital to ensure both of you are on the same page. Understanding each other's perspectives can help you build a strong and healthy foundation for your future together. If you have any concerns or doubts about your relationship, consider seeking the advice of a professional counselor or therapist to facilitate constructive conversations.