I'm really sorry to hear that you've had such a difficult and painful experience with your ex-partner. Dealing with a narcissistic ex and the aftermath of a toxic relationship can be incredibly challenging. It's understandable that you may have a lot of questions and emotions about the situation.
First and foremost, it's important to recognize that you are not responsible for his actions or his choices. You were not the cause of his cheating, manipulation, or any other negative behaviors. Narcissistic individuals often use manipulation and deception to get what they want, and it's not uncommon for them to try to shift blame onto others to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
It's possible that your presence in his life during the breakup and afterward may have influenced him to some extent, but it's important to remember that you cannot change someone who doesn't genuinely want to change themselves. Any changes he may have made or claims he shared about his life should be taken with caution, as narcissists are skilled at presenting a facade and telling people what they want to hear.
It's also crucial for your healing and well-being to try to detach yourself from his life completely. Continuing to have communication with him, even if it's about settling matters, can make it much harder for you to move on and recover from the emotional toll of the relationship. Set boundaries and try to minimize contact as much as possible.
The fact that he told you about the engagement ring and the overdose might be his way of trying to manipulate your emotions or elicit sympathy from you. Remember that you have no obligation to engage with him on these matters.
Moving on from a toxic relationship can be a gradual process, and it's completely normal to have ups and downs along the way. It's okay to feel hurt, confused, and upset. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship, and try to surround yourself with a support system of friends, family, or even professional help like a therapist or counselor.
Here are some additional steps you can take to help in your healing process:
No Contact: Aim to go no contact completely with your ex, especially since you've already broken up. This includes blocking or deleting his number, removing him from social media, and avoiding places where you might run into him.
Self-Care: Focus on self-care and taking care of your own well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, spend time with loved ones, and prioritize your physical and emotional health.
Therapy or Support Groups: Consider seeking professional support through therapy or joining support groups for individuals who have experienced narcissistic relationships. Talking with others who have gone through similar experiences can be comforting and empowering.
Avoid Blame: Refrain from blaming yourself for the relationship's failure. Narcissists can be skilled at manipulation, and it's not your fault that you were targeted by someone with these behaviors.
Set Goals: Focus on your personal goals and aspirations. Create a vision for your future that doesn't involve your ex and takes you in a positive direction.
Remember, healing from a toxic relationship takes time, but it is possible. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself the space and time you need to recover and rediscover your own happiness.