If you are experiencing distressing and intrusive thoughts, it's essential to seek guidance from a qualified mental health professional or a religious leader who can offer appropriate support tailored to your individual circumstances.
However, I can suggest a few possible reasons why these thoughts may persist despite your efforts:
Intrusive thoughts: Intrusive thoughts are common for many people and can be caused by anxiety, stress, or other psychological factors. These thoughts can be persistent and distressing, but they do not necessarily reflect your true character or beliefs.
Cognitive processes: The more you try to push away certain thoughts, the more they might persist. It's called the "rebound effect" of thought suppression. Your brain might interpret your focus on these thoughts as important, causing them to return more frequently.
Underlying emotional issues: Sometimes, recurring negative thoughts can be a manifestation of unresolved emotional issues. Addressing the root causes of these emotions may help reduce their intensity.
Religious or moral struggles: If you are experiencing conflicts related to your faith or morality, these thoughts may persist. It could be helpful to discuss these concerns with a trusted religious leader or counselor.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): In some cases, intrusive thoughts can be a symptom of OCD. If these thoughts are causing significant distress or interfering with your daily life, it's essential to consult a mental health professional who can properly assess and provide appropriate treatment.
Normal human experience: It's important to recognize that experiencing negative or "evil" thoughts doesn't make you a bad person. Humans have a wide range of thoughts, and they do not define our character.
Spiritual struggles: At times, individuals may experience spiritual struggles or doubts that lead to intrusive thoughts. Engaging in conversations with your spiritual community or mentor could be beneficial.
Remember, seeking professional help is crucial if you find these thoughts overwhelming or if they significantly impact your well-being. A therapist or counselor can work with you to address these thoughts effectively and help you develop coping strategies that align with your religious beliefs and values.