When someone responds to your compliment with phrases like "you're just being nice" or "you don't really mean that," they may be experiencing self-doubt or struggling with accepting compliments. It's essential to respond in a way that reassures them and reinforces the sincerity of your words. Here's a helpful approach:
Express sincerity: Reiterate your genuine intention behind the compliment. You can say something like, "I truly mean it" or "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."
Be specific: Provide specific examples or reasons for the compliment you gave. This can help them understand why you value or admire them in that particular aspect.
Encourage self-appreciation: Remind them of their positive qualities or achievements. Encourage them to recognize and appreciate their strengths.
Be empathetic: Understand that accepting compliments can be difficult for some people due to self-esteem issues or cultural norms. Show empathy and patience in your response.
Avoid pushing too hard: If they seem uncomfortable or continue to downplay the compliment, don't insist on their acceptance. Sometimes, it's best to let the moment pass and allow them to process the compliment at their own pace.
Normalize accepting compliments: Mention that accepting compliments graciously is a skill that can be developed over time, and it's okay to feel unsure about it.
Relate to their feelings: Share a personal experience when you've had trouble accepting compliments, if applicable. This can help them feel less alone in their struggle.
Respect their response: Ultimately, if they still find it challenging to accept the compliment, respect their feelings and move on. Don't push the issue further.
Remember that everyone has their own way of processing compliments, and it's not a reflection of the value of your words. Offering sincere compliments and positive feedback is always a kind gesture, and even if the recipient has difficulty accepting it, your goodwill and intentions remain meaningful.