Feeling a certain level of disappointment or hurt when your friends hang out without telling you is understandable, but whether you should be "mad" depends on the specific circumstances and the dynamics of your friendships. Here are some factors to consider:
Frequency and Intention: If your friends occasionally hang out without informing you, it may not be a big issue. People are entitled to spend time with others individually. However, if it happens repeatedly or if they purposely exclude you, it may be worth addressing with them.
Group Dynamics: Consider the nature of your friend group. Sometimes, groups of friends may splinter off into smaller subgroups naturally, and it doesn't necessarily indicate any ill intent towards you.
Communication Norms: Different friend groups have different communication styles. Some groups may communicate everything, while others might be more spontaneous or casual in their plans. Understanding the group's communication norms can help you put things in perspective.
Feelings of Exclusion: If you consistently feel left out or excluded from important gatherings, it's essential to reflect on why that might be the case. Sometimes, it can be due to misunderstandings, while other times, it could signal a deeper issue within the group or specific relationships.
Talk to Your Friends: If the situation bothers you, consider having an open and honest conversation with your friends. Express your feelings and concerns without blaming or accusing them. They might not be aware that their actions are affecting you negatively.
Focus on Positive Experiences: Instead of dwelling on the instances you weren't invited, focus on the positive experiences you share with your friends. Cherish the moments you do spend together and build on those connections.
Explore New Friendships: While it's essential to maintain existing friendships, consider exploring new social circles or activities to broaden your network. It can introduce you to people who share similar interests and may strengthen your sense of belonging.
Manage Expectations: Recognize that friendships evolve, and people have busy lives. Sometimes, friends may be preoccupied with their own responsibilities, and it might not always be feasible to include everyone in every plan.
Avoid Passive Aggressive Behavior: Instead of holding grudges or showing passive-aggressive behavior, be direct and assertive about your feelings when communicating with your friends.
Self-Reflection: Take some time to self-reflect and assess whether there could be any reasons why you might be feeling left out. It's possible that some personal feelings or insecurities may be influencing your perspective.
Ultimately, it's essential to strike a balance between understanding that friends have individual lives and feelings of connection and inclusion. If you find that you consistently feel excluded or unimportant in your friendships, it may be an indication that the dynamics within the group need addressing. Healthy friendships are built on open communication, trust, and mutual respect for each other's feelings.