Forgiving and forgetting after being betrayed can be incredibly challenging, especially when it comes to infidelity. It's not uncommon to have conflicting feelings and emotions after such a situation, and it can take time to process everything fully. Here are some reasons why you might find it difficult to forget or realize how toxic your ex-boyfriend is:
Emotional attachment: You had a significant emotional connection with your ex-boyfriend, and emotions can be powerful and challenging to let go of, even after a betrayal. The attachment you formed during your relationship might be causing you to struggle with moving on.
Familiarity and comfort: Despite the betrayal, the relationship represents a familiar and comfortable space for you. It's natural to gravitate towards what we know, even if it's not the healthiest option.
Cognitive dissonance: Cognitive dissonance is the discomfort we feel when we hold conflicting beliefs or attitudes. In this case, you might be struggling to reconcile the fact that your ex-boyfriend cheated on you with the feelings of love and attachment you still have for him.
Hope for change: You might be holding on to the hope that things could change or that your ex-boyfriend will realize his mistakes and become a better partner. This hope can be hard to let go of, especially if you invested a lot in the relationship.
Low self-esteem: Sometimes, people stay in toxic relationships because they feel they don't deserve better or fear being alone. Low self-esteem can make it challenging to leave a toxic partner, even when you know it's the right thing to do.
Fear of letting go: Leaving a relationship, even a toxic one, can be frightening because it means stepping into the unknown. Fear of being alone or not finding someone else can make it difficult to cut ties with your ex-boyfriend.
Chemical reactions: Intimacy and physical connection with someone can lead to the release of hormones like oxytocin, which can create feelings of bonding and attachment. This can make it more challenging to let go after intimate encounters.
Remember that healing from a betrayal and toxic relationship takes time and self-compassion. It's essential to prioritize your well-being and focus on self-care during this process. Consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate your emotions and make healthier decisions for yourself. Breaking off contact with your ex-boyfriend and focusing on your personal growth can be critical steps towards moving on from this toxic relationship.