I understand that this is a difficult and emotionally challenging situation for you. Getting back together after a second breakup can be even more complicated, especially if the issues that led to the first breakup haven't been fully resolved. However, it's not impossible, and there is a chance for reconciliation if both parties are willing to work on the relationship. Here are some things to consider:
Evaluate the relationship: Take an objective look at your relationship, both its strengths and weaknesses. Reflect on the reasons for the two breakups and try to identify any patterns or recurring issues. Consider whether the relationship is genuinely healthy and whether you both have compatible long-term goals and values.
Assess your feelings: It's clear that you have strong feelings for him after a decade of loving him. However, it's essential to also consider whether you are idealizing the relationship or if your feelings are based on a genuine connection and compatibility.
Communication: If you are open to giving the relationship another chance, communicate with your ex about your feelings and concerns. Encourage him to share his thoughts as well. Honest and open communication is vital for understanding each other's perspectives and working towards a resolution.
Seek professional help: Consider couples counseling or therapy to work through the underlying issues that caused the breakups. A professional can provide guidance and facilitate healthy communication to help both of you make informed decisions about your future together.
Set boundaries and expectations: If you decide to try again, set clear boundaries and expectations for the relationship. This includes discussing what went wrong in the past and how you both can work to avoid those issues in the future.
Give it time: Rushing back into a relationship after a breakup can be risky. Take things slowly and allow yourselves time to heal and grow as individuals before considering rekindling the romantic connection.
Consider your well-being: While it's understandable to have strong feelings for someone you've loved for a long time, prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Consider whether the relationship is truly making you happy or if it's causing you unnecessary pain and heartache.
Remember that it's okay to take your time to process your emotions and make the best decision for yourself. Moving on from a long-standing connection can be challenging, but sometimes it's necessary for personal growth and finding a healthier, happier relationship in the future. If you find it challenging to cope with your feelings, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate through this difficult time.