It's understandable that you may have mixed feelings about your incarcerated boyfriend wanting to send money home to you and your kids. Let's address both aspects of your question:
1. Why would he want to send you money? There could be various reasons why your incarcerated boyfriend wants to send money to you and your kids:
a. Financial support: He might genuinely want to provide financial assistance to you and ensure that you and your children are taken care of during his time in incarceration.
b. Sense of responsibility: He may feel a sense of responsibility for his family and want to fulfill his role as a provider, even though he is unable to be physically present due to his incarceration.
c. Remorse or guilt: If his incarceration resulted from actions that negatively impacted the family, he may want to express remorse and make amends by providing financial support.
d. Maintaining family ties: Sending money could be his way of maintaining a connection and showing love and care for you and the children despite the physical separation.
2. How to address your feelings about the money: It's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your feelings without sounding rude or ungrateful. Here are some steps to consider:
a. Express your gratitude: Begin the conversation by expressing your appreciation for his gesture and concern for the well-being of the family.
b. Share your perspective: Let him know how you feel about using the money. You can tell him that you understand his intentions but would prefer that he use the money for his own needs during his incarceration.
c. Discuss your financial situation: If you have stable financial support or do not require the money for immediate necessities, explain your situation to him so that he understands that you and the kids are okay.
d. Find a compromise: If he insists on sending money, try to find a compromise that works for both of you. For example, you could agree that he sends a smaller amount or sends money less frequently.
e. Consider his emotional needs: Remember that being incarcerated can be emotionally challenging, and sending money to his family might give him a sense of purpose and connection. Be sensitive to his feelings while expressing your own.
f. Discuss future plans: Use the conversation as an opportunity to talk about plans for when he is released and how you both can work together to support the family at that time.
Remember that open and empathetic communication is key in any relationship, especially when facing difficult situations like incarceration. By discussing your feelings and concerns with each other, you can find a resolution that respects both of your needs and emotions.