Deciding whether to tell your current partner about an ex contacting you depends on the circumstances and the dynamics of your relationship. While there's no one-size-fits-all answer, here are some considerations to help you make an informed decision:
Evaluate the intention: Consider the reason why your ex contacted you. If it's purely innocent, such as asking about an old mutual friend or returning something of yours, it may not be necessary to disclose it to your current partner. However, if the conversation seems flirty or emotionally charged, it's best to be honest and open with your partner.
Transparency and trust: Honesty is vital in any relationship. If you and your current partner have established open communication and a high level of trust, it might be better to tell them about the contact from your ex. Keeping secrets, especially if the interaction is significant, may create issues of trust and undermine the relationship.
Past history with the ex: If there is a complicated history with your ex, it might be more important to inform your current partner. Past romantic involvement, unresolved feelings, or emotional baggage can be relevant information for your partner to understand the context.
Discuss boundaries: Talk with your current partner about boundaries and expectations regarding interactions with ex-partners. Some couples are comfortable with maintaining platonic contact with exes, while others may prefer no contact at all. Understanding each other's perspectives can help avoid misunderstandings.
Your partner's feelings: Consider how your current partner might feel about the situation. If you were in their shoes, would you appreciate being informed? Some partners may be understanding and secure, while others might feel uneasy or threatened. Knowing your partner's feelings can guide your decision.
Future contact: If you decide not to mention the initial contact, but your ex continues to reach out or if the interactions become more frequent, it's essential to inform your current partner as soon as possible.
Ultimately, the "right" thing to do depends on the unique dynamics of your relationship. If you're unsure about what to do, consider having an open and honest conversation with your partner about the situation. Communication is key in handling any potentially sensitive issue, and it can strengthen your bond with your current partner.