When dealing with individuals who display narcissistic traits or have been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, their behavior can be complex and unpredictable. If you've exposed your ex-narcissist or confronted them about their actions, their subsequent behavior can be influenced by several factors:
Ego and Control: Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and often crave admiration and control. If you've challenged or exposed their behavior, it may have wounded their ego and challenged their need for control over you or the situation. As a result, they might come back to reassert their dominance or try to regain control over you.
Manipulation and Hoovering: Narcissists are skilled manipulators. They may come back into your life using a tactic called "hoovering," which involves attempts to suck you back into the relationship through flattery, promises of change, or even guilt-tripping. This tactic is designed to reestablish their hold over you and keep you as a source of validation and attention.
Seeking Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists require constant validation and admiration to feed their fragile self-esteem. If they have lost other sources of narcissistic supply or are feeling a sense of rejection, they might turn back to previous sources, including ex-partners, to fulfill their needs.
Gaslighting and Denial: When confronted, a narcissist may resort to gaslighting, which involves denying or distorting the truth to make you doubt your perception of events. They might try to make you believe that you are mistaken about their behavior or that you are the problem, not them.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists have difficulty understanding and empathizing with others' feelings. They may not fully comprehend the emotional impact of their actions or the reasons for your desire to distance yourself from them.
Idealization-Devaluation Cycle: In some cases, a narcissist might alternate between idealizing and devaluing you. After being exposed, they might initially devalue and discard you but later idealize you again, believing they can win you back under their control.
Boredom or Loneliness: If the narcissist is experiencing boredom or loneliness, they may try to rekindle old relationships for entertainment or to fill a void in their life temporarily.
Pathological Need for Attention: Narcissists crave attention and may return to your life just to stir up drama, create chaos, or get a reaction from you, even if it's negative.
It's essential to remember that engaging with a narcissist can be emotionally damaging and perpetuate a toxic cycle. If you've made the decision to separate yourself from a narcissistic individual, it's usually best to maintain your distance and focus on your well-being and healing. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate the challenges of dealing with a narcissistic ex-partner and support you in moving forward with your life.