Dealing with situations like this can be challenging and emotionally charged, but it's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner to understand their perspective and address your concerns. Here are some steps you can take:
Communicate your feelings: Talk to your boyfriend about how you feel about him not saving your number on his phone. Be calm, honest, and non-confrontational when discussing your concerns. Use "I" statements to express your feelings, such as "I feel a bit hurt and confused when I see that you haven't saved my number on your phone."
Ask for an explanation: Give your boyfriend the opportunity to explain his reasoning behind not saving your number. There may be a simple explanation, and he might not be aware that it bothers you. Stay open-minded and listen to his side of the story without immediately assuming the worst.
Share your perspective: Let your boyfriend know why saving your number is important to you. Explain that it's not about controlling him or invading his privacy but rather about feeling valued and appreciated in the relationship.
Understand his feelings: While discussing the issue, try to understand his perspective as well. He might have different reasons for keeping his exes' numbers, and it doesn't necessarily mean he has lingering feelings for them. Listen to his viewpoint and ask any questions you may have.
Address the exes' numbers: If his exes' numbers on his phone are a significant concern for you, bring this up as well. Express how it makes you feel uncomfortable and ask if there's a reason they are still saved there. Be prepared for the possibility that his reasons might not be what you expect, and try to keep an open mind.
Set boundaries: Discuss and establish boundaries together that both of you are comfortable with. This might include decisions on what contacts to keep, what information is shared, and how to maintain a sense of trust and respect in the relationship.
Focus on trust: Building and maintaining trust is crucial in any relationship. If your boyfriend has given you no reason to doubt his fidelity or commitment, try to trust him until you have concrete reasons not to.
Give it time: Don't rush into conclusions or decisions. Relationships take time to develop, and it's essential to have open communication and patience as you both work through any issues together.
Seek support if needed: If you find it challenging to navigate this situation on your own, consider seeking support from a relationship counselor or therapist. A neutral third party can help facilitate healthy communication and provide valuable insights.
Remember, open communication, understanding, and trust are key factors in resolving conflicts and strengthening relationships. Be willing to listen to each other, compromise when necessary, and work together to find solutions that make both of you comfortable and happy.