Your feelings about your boyfriend staying out until 3AM with his friends are valid, and it's essential to acknowledge and address them. Whether you are being unfair or not depends on the specific circumstances of your relationship and the reasons behind your discomfort. Here are some points to consider:
Communication: Have you openly discussed your feelings with your boyfriend? If not, it's crucial to communicate how his late nights make you feel and listen to his perspective as well. Honest communication can help both of you understand each other's needs and concerns better.
Boundaries: Every relationship has its own set of boundaries. It's essential to establish mutually agreed-upon boundaries about how much time you spend together, the extent of independence you both have, and what you consider acceptable in terms of going out with friends.
Reasons for staying out late: Consider why your boyfriend stays out until 3AM. Is it a regular occurrence, or is it infrequent? Understanding the reasons behind his late nights can help you evaluate the situation more objectively.
Trust: Trust is a crucial foundation in any relationship. If you trust your boyfriend and his intentions, you may feel more at ease with him spending time with his friends. If trust is an issue, it's essential to address it and work on building trust in the relationship.
Personal insecurities: Sometimes, feelings of discomfort might stem from personal insecurities rather than any specific actions of your boyfriend. Self-reflection can help you determine if your feelings are related to the relationship dynamics or personal issues.
Compromise: Relationships often require compromise. If your boyfriend's late nights genuinely bother you and impact your well-being, discuss the possibility of finding a middle ground that respects both of your needs.
Consideration for others: It's essential for both partners to consider each other's feelings and be sensitive to how their actions may affect their partner.
Shared values: Evaluate whether your values and priorities align in terms of how you both spend your time and what you expect from the relationship.
Ultimately, it's crucial to strike a balance that works for both of you in the relationship. If you find that your feelings persist and you're unable to find common ground or resolution through communication, it might be beneficial to seek the support of a couples' counselor or therapist. They can help facilitate constructive discussions and provide guidance on navigating any challenges in the relationship.