There could be various reasons why your boyfriend is frequently on his phone when you hang out. Here are some common possibilities:
Distraction: He might be distracted by notifications, messages, or social media, which can draw his attention away from your time together.
Habit: Constant phone usage can become a habit for some individuals. They might not even realize how often they are checking their phone or using it as a way to fill moments of downtime.
Boredom: If the activities you engage in while hanging out are not engaging or interesting to him, he might turn to his phone for entertainment.
Social Pressure: Social media and messaging apps can create a sense of constant connectivity and fear of missing out (FOMO). Your boyfriend may feel the need to stay active on his phone to stay updated with what others are doing.
Avoidance: Being on the phone could be a way for him to avoid certain conversations or situations that he finds uncomfortable or challenging.
Lack of Boundaries: He might not have clear boundaries when it comes to phone usage during your time together.
Work or Personal Obligations: In some cases, he may be dealing with work-related issues or personal matters that require his attention.
Communication Style: It's possible that he doesn't see anything wrong with using his phone during your hangouts and may not be aware of how it makes you feel.
If you find his phone usage bothersome or it makes you feel neglected, it's essential to address the issue openly and honestly. Here are some steps you can take:
Express Your Feelings: Let him know how his constant phone usage makes you feel. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, "I feel a bit neglected when you're on your phone a lot during our hangouts."
Set Boundaries: Discuss and establish boundaries for phone usage while spending time together. Both of you can agree to limit phone distractions during specific activities or dedicate phone-free quality time.
Plan Engaging Activities: Consider planning activities that both of you enjoy, which can reduce the temptation to use phones for entertainment.
Lead by Example: Show him how you would like to engage during your hangouts by limiting your phone usage as well.
Understand His Perspective: Have an open conversation to understand why he uses his phone so frequently. It might help you both find a middle ground and address any underlying issues.
Agree on Phone-Free Times: Designate certain times or situations where you both agree to keep your phones away, such as during meals or while watching a movie together.
Remember that open communication is key to resolving any issues in a relationship. By expressing your feelings and discussing the matter calmly, you can work towards finding a solution that works for both of you.