Feeling bad for leaving an abusive ex-partner who claims to be trying to get better is a common and understandable emotion. There are several reasons why you might be experiencing these feelings:
Empathy and compassion: You may still have feelings of empathy and compassion for your ex-partner, even after their abusive behavior. It's natural to care about the well-being of someone you were once close to, especially if they are struggling with personal issues.
Hope for change: If your ex-partner expressed a desire to change and improve, you might feel torn between wanting to support them through their difficult journey and protecting yourself from potential harm. It's normal to hope for positive transformations in people we care about.
Guilt: Leaving a relationship can evoke feelings of guilt, especially if your ex-partner is going through a difficult time or appears vulnerable. You may worry that by leaving, you are abandoning them when they need support the most.
Fear of the unknown: Ending any relationship, even a toxic one, can be scary because it brings a sense of uncertainty about the future. You may be worried about what will happen to your ex-partner without you, even if the relationship was harmful.
Manipulation and gaslighting: In abusive relationships, the abuser often employs manipulation and gaslighting techniques to make the victim feel responsible for their actions or emotions. This can lead you to question whether you are doing the right thing by leaving and can contribute to feelings of guilt.
Isolation and dependency: Abusive partners often isolate their victims and create a dependency on them. Breaking free from such a relationship can be challenging, and you might feel conflicted about leaving someone you've been emotionally dependent on.
While these feelings are valid, it's essential to prioritize your safety, well-being, and happiness. Leaving an abusive relationship is a brave and necessary step towards reclaiming your life and healing from the harm inflicted. If you're struggling with the decision or feelings of guilt, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you process your emotions and provide guidance on your journey to healing and recovery. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it's an essential part of building a healthy and fulfilling life.