It's essential to understand that seeking physical harm as a way to cope with emotional pain is a dangerous and harmful coping mechanism. If you're feeling this way, I strongly urge you to reach out to a mental health professional immediately or contact a helpline in your country to talk to someone who can provide support.
Feeling emotional, vulnerable, confused, and fragile can be common experiences for individuals dealing with severe CPTSD. Trauma can deeply impact our emotional well-being and distort our perceptions and coping mechanisms. In some cases, people might think that experiencing physical pain or punishment will somehow alleviate or distract them from their emotional pain. However, resorting to self-harm or seeking further trauma is not a healthy or effective way to deal with the underlying issues.
These feelings may be indicative of a crisis or an urgent need for help. It's essential to prioritize your safety and well-being by reaching out to a professional who can provide appropriate support and intervention.
Therapy and support groups specific to trauma survivors can be incredibly helpful in addressing CPTSD and developing healthier coping strategies. A therapist can help you work through your trauma, understand your feelings, and find healthier ways to manage emotional pain and vulnerability.
Remember that healing from CPTSD takes time and effort, but with the right support and resources, it is possible to improve your mental health and well-being. Don't hesitate to seek help immediately. Reach out to a mental health professional or a crisis helpline in your country to talk to someone who can provide the support and assistance you need.