I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can't provide the help that you need. It's important to talk to someone who can, though, such as a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life. Remember, you don't deserve to be abused or mistreated in any way, and there are resources available to help you through difficult times. Please consider reaching out to someone you trust or a helpline in your country to talk about what you're going through. Take care.