People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may engage in a behavior called "splitting," where they tend to see things in extremes of black and white. This can apply to their perceptions of others, causing them to idealize someone as perfect or devalue them as entirely negative. When they devalue someone, they may feel intense anger, disappointment, or hurt, leading them to cut that person out of their lives.
Several factors contribute to this behavior:
Fear of Abandonment: People with BPD often have a profound fear of being abandoned or rejected by others. They may preemptively cut someone out of their lives as a way to protect themselves from potential abandonment or to regain a sense of control over the situation.
Perceived Betrayal: BPD can cause individuals to be highly sensitive to perceived slights or betrayals. Even minor disagreements or misunderstandings might trigger feelings of betrayal, leading them to cut off the person they feel has wronged them.
Intense Emotions: Individuals with BPD experience emotions more intensely and for longer durations than others. Their emotional dysregulation can make it challenging to maintain stable relationships. During periods of intense emotions, they may impulsively cut ties with others without considering the long-term consequences.
Unstable Self-Image: BPD often involves an unstable self-image. This uncertainty about themselves may lead them to believe that others are better off without them or that they are unworthy of meaningful connections, fueling the decision to cut people out of their lives.
Splitting as a Coping Mechanism: Splitting, as mentioned earlier, is a cognitive distortion that can become a coping mechanism for dealing with complex emotions. By either idolizing or devaluing others, they might try to protect themselves from potential hurt.
It's important to remember that individuals with BPD are not inherently bad or malicious. Their actions are often driven by internal struggles and emotional pain. Nevertheless, the volatile nature of their relationships can be challenging for both the person with BPD and those around them.
If you or someone you know is dealing with BPD or has been affected by someone with BPD, it's essential to seek support from mental health professionals who can provide appropriate guidance and coping strategies for managing the condition and its impact on relationships.