Dealing with a situation like this can be challenging, especially if the person has hinted at having a personality disorder. It's important to handle the situation with empathy, understanding, and professionalism. Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to understand your own feelings about the situation. How does their behavior make you feel? Are you uncomfortable, anxious, or concerned? Understanding your emotions can help you approach the situation with greater clarity.
Consider Their Perspective: If your co-worker has BPD or any other mental health condition, it may explain some of their behaviors. Remember that people with BPD, especially the "quiet type," might struggle with social interactions and maintaining relationships due to their intense emotions and fear of rejection or abandonment.
Respect Their Boundaries: It's essential to respect personal boundaries in the workplace. If your co-worker is not initiating conversations or engaging with you, don't force interactions or confrontations. Allow them space and time to feel comfortable in their own way.
Maintain Professionalism: Continue to maintain a professional demeanor while at work. Focus on your tasks and responsibilities, and treat your co-worker with kindness and respect.
Communicate If Necessary: If the situation is significantly affecting your work or causing you distress, consider having a private, empathetic conversation with your co-worker. Choose a calm and private setting to express your feelings and concerns. Let them know that you have noticed their behavior and that it's causing some discomfort for you. Be gentle and non-accusatory in your approach.
Offer Support and Understanding: If your co-worker opens up about their mental health struggles, be supportive and understanding. Show empathy and let them know that you care about their well-being. However, remember that you are not their therapist, and it's not your responsibility to solve their personal issues.
Set Boundaries for Yourself: If your co-worker's behavior continues to be distressing, it's essential to establish clear boundaries for yourself. You can limit personal interactions and focus on maintaining a cordial and professional relationship at work.
Seek HR or Management Support: If the situation escalates, becomes disruptive, or creates a hostile work environment, consider reaching out to your Human Resources department or a supervisor to discuss the issue. They can provide guidance on how to handle the situation appropriately.
Remember that dealing with mental health issues requires professional expertise, and it's not your role to diagnose or treat your co-worker. Encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional if they are open to it. Focus on maintaining a healthy work environment for yourself while being understanding and respectful of your co-worker's struggles.