Dealing with anxiety or distress when your favorite person doesn't reply promptly can be challenging, especially if you have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). People with BPD often experience intense emotions and fear of abandonment, which can magnify feelings of anxiety in such situations. However, there are strategies you can use to help cope with these emotions:
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques can help you stay present and focused on the current moment, reducing anxiety about the future or past. Techniques like deep breathing or grounding exercises can be beneficial when you start feeling overwhelmed.
Distract yourself: Engage in activities that you enjoy or find calming when you're waiting for a reply. This can divert your attention from the anxious thoughts and help you feel more at ease.
Challenge negative thoughts: If you find yourself catastrophizing or assuming the worst when they don't reply immediately, challenge those thoughts. Remind yourself that there could be many reasons for the delay, and it doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about you.
Set realistic expectations: Understand that people have their own lives and responsibilities. It's natural for them not to reply instantly all the time. Setting more realistic expectations for response times can reduce unnecessary anxiety.
Reach out to others: If you're feeling distressed while waiting for a reply, consider talking to a friend, family member, or someone else you trust. Connecting with others can provide support and help distract you from the anxiety.
Engage in self-soothing activities: Find activities that help you relax and soothe your emotions, such as taking a warm bath, listening to calming music, or practicing hobbies you enjoy.
Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize that it's okay to feel anxious or worried. Avoid self-criticism, as this can intensify your distress.
Consider the context: Remember that there can be various reasons for delayed responses, such as being busy, having technical difficulties, or needing time to think about the response.
Seek professional help: If you find that your anxiety or distress is significantly impacting your daily life and relationships, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. Therapy, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can be especially helpful for individuals with BPD.
It's important to recognize that overcoming intense emotions and fear of abandonment can take time and practice. Be patient with yourself and acknowledge that progress may come gradually. Working with a therapist can provide personalized guidance and coping strategies tailored to your specific needs and circumstances. Remember that it's okay to seek help and support as you navigate your emotions and relationships.