It is not necessarily selfish to not want to let your brother-in-law live with you and your husband. People have different boundaries, living arrangements, and personal preferences, and it is essential to consider your comfort and well-being in any living situation.
There are several valid reasons why you might not want to have someone, even a family member, live with you:
Personal Space: Some people value their personal space and need a certain level of privacy in their living environment.
Compatibility: Living with someone, even a family member, requires compatibility in terms of lifestyle, habits, and routines. If you feel that there might be clashes or conflicts, it's reasonable to consider this before making such a decision.
Responsibilities: Having an additional person in the household can bring about more responsibilities, and not everyone may be ready or willing to take on those extra duties.
Emotional Well-being: If having your brother-in-law live with you causes emotional stress or anxiety, it is essential to prioritize your mental well-being.
Financial Considerations: Taking on an extra resident can impact finances and might not be feasible for everyone.
It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your husband and brother-in-law about your feelings and concerns. If you decide it's not the best option for you, it's crucial to approach the situation respectfully and explain your reasons thoughtfully. You might explore other ways to support your brother-in-law without living together, such as helping him find alternative housing or assisting in other ways if possible.
Ultimately, it's essential to make decisions that are in line with your values, needs, and boundaries while also considering the well-being of your family members. Remember that setting healthy boundaries is not inherently selfish; it's a fundamental aspect of maintaining balance and ensuring your own happiness and mental well-being.