It's important to note that every individual and family dynamic is unique, and there can be various reasons behind such behavior. Here are a few possible explanations for your narcissistic mother's expectations:
Sense of entitlement: Narcissistic individuals often have an exaggerated sense of entitlement and believe they deserve special treatment and attention from others, including their children. They may not see their behavior as abusive and might feel entitled to your help and support without considering the harm they have caused.
Lack of empathy: Narcissists typically lack empathy and have difficulty understanding or acknowledging the emotions and experiences of others, including their children. They may not fully grasp the impact of their actions on you and may prioritize their needs over yours.
Emotional manipulation: Narcissists are skilled manipulators and may use emotional tactics to guilt-trip or coerce their children into fulfilling their demands. They might play on your feelings of obligation, love, or guilt to get what they want.
Control and dependency: Narcissistic individuals often seek control over others, and by expecting your help and financial support, they may be trying to maintain a sense of control and dependency over you even as you become independent.
Fear of abandonment: Narcissists fear abandonment and rejection, so they may try to keep you close and dependent on them by fostering feelings of guilt or responsibility.
Self-centeredness: Narcissists tend to be highly self-centered and may struggle to understand or prioritize the needs of others, even their own children.
Image management: Some narcissistic parents care deeply about how they appear to others and may expect you to help them maintain a certain image or lifestyle, even if it comes at your expense.
It's essential to recognize that you are not responsible for their actions or feelings, and it's not your duty to continue serving them, especially if it negatively affects your well-being. Graduating and moving forward in life is an opportunity for you to focus on your own growth and happiness.
If you find yourself in a situation where you feel trapped or manipulated, seeking support from a mental health professional, counselor, or therapist can be beneficial. They can help you navigate your feelings and boundaries and provide guidance on how to cope with and manage difficult family dynamics. Remember, your well-being is essential, and it's okay to prioritize your needs and set healthy boundaries for your emotional and mental health.