It's understandable that you may have complex feelings about your grandpa due to the past verbal abuse you and your family endured. It's essential to acknowledge the pain and hurt you experienced as a result of his actions. However, seeking revenge or trying to make him feel the way he made you feel in the past might not be the healthiest approach.
Dementia is a debilitating condition that affects a person's cognitive abilities and memory. As your grandpa experiences this illness, he may not fully understand his past actions or the consequences they had on you and your family. Reacting with hostility or trying to hurt him emotionally may not be productive and could potentially lead to further feelings of guilt or regret for you.
Instead, it may be more beneficial for you to focus on finding healing and closure for yourself and your family. This doesn't mean you have to forget the past or forgive his past actions, but letting go of the desire for revenge can be liberating and allow you to move forward in a healthier way.
Consider seeking support through therapy or counseling to work through the emotions surrounding your relationship with your grandpa and the effects of his past behavior. Talking to a mental health professional can provide you with coping strategies and help you process these feelings in a constructive manner.
Remember that you have the power to break the cycle of abusive behavior and foster understanding and compassion within your family. By choosing not to perpetuate the cycle of hurt, you can make a positive impact on your family's well-being and create a healthier environment for everyone involved.