Seeking validation from others and feeling the need to be in good terms with everyone can be influenced by various factors, and it's a common experience for many people. Some possible reasons for this behavior include:
Low self-esteem: When you have low self-esteem, you may rely on external validation from others to feel worthy and accepted. Positive feedback or approval from others can temporarily boost your self-esteem, but it may not be a sustainable source of confidence.
Fear of rejection: The fear of being rejected or disliked by others can drive you to seek approval constantly. You might avoid conflict and confrontation, attempting to maintain positive relationships with everyone to minimize the risk of being rejected or criticized.
Social pressure: Societal norms and expectations can put pressure on individuals to fit in and be accepted by their peers. This pressure can lead to a strong desire for validation and being on good terms with everyone.
Past experiences: Past experiences of rejection or feeling ignored may have left a lasting impact, making you more sensitive to seeking validation from others to avoid similar negative feelings.
Need for belongingness: As social beings, humans have an inherent need to belong and be part of a community. Seeking validation and maintaining good relationships can fulfill this need.
Comparison to others: Constantly comparing yourself to others can also fuel the need for validation. If you believe others are more successful or likable, you might seek validation to bridge the perceived gap.
Lack of self-awareness: Sometimes, not fully understanding your own values and beliefs can lead you to seek validation from others rather than trusting your own judgment.
It's important to recognize that seeking validation from others is a natural human tendency to some extent, but when it becomes excessive and interferes with your well-being and self-confidence, it may be helpful to address the underlying reasons behind this behavior. Here are some steps you can take:
Self-reflection: Take some time to understand why you feel the need for constant validation. Reflect on your past experiences and beliefs that may be contributing to this behavior.
Build self-confidence: Work on improving your self-esteem and building confidence in your abilities. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.
Set boundaries: Recognize that it's impossible to be on good terms with everyone all the time. Learn to set healthy boundaries and prioritize relationships that are meaningful and supportive.
Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize that seeking validation is a common human experience. Treat yourself with the same empathy and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing similar challenges.
Develop a strong sense of self: Identify your values, interests, and passions. When you have a clear sense of self, you become less reliant on others' validation to define your self-worth.
Seek professional help: If you find that this need for validation significantly impacts your life and well-being, consider talking to a mental health professional. They can provide support and guidance in addressing these issues.
Remember, it's okay to seek support