There could be several reasons why someone might act as if they don't know that their behavior hurts other people's feelings on purpose. These reasons are often rooted in psychological, emotional, or social factors:
Defense mechanism: Some individuals may employ defense mechanisms such as denial or rationalization to avoid confronting their own negative behaviors. By pretending not to know or understand the impact of their actions, they can protect themselves from feelings of guilt or shame.
Lack of empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Some people may have difficulty empathizing with others due to their own emotional limitations or upbringing, making it challenging for them to recognize the emotional consequences of their actions on others.
Manipulation and control: In some cases, people may be intentionally pretending not to know the impact of their behavior as a form of manipulation or control over others. By feigning ignorance, they can maintain power and dominance in their relationships or social dynamics.
Narcissism or egocentrism: Individuals with narcissistic tendencies or a high level of egocentrism may be primarily focused on their own needs and desires, often disregarding the feelings of others. They may genuinely believe that their actions are justified or that other people's emotions are not as important as their own.
Lack of social skills: Some individuals may have poor social skills and struggle to read social cues accurately. They might not understand how their behavior affects others due to a lack of awareness or sensitivity in social situations.
Emotional detachment: Certain individuals may have difficulty connecting with their own emotions or the emotions of others, leading them to overlook the impact of their behavior on other people.
Past trauma: People who have experienced trauma in their lives may develop defense mechanisms that involve disconnecting from their emotions. This can make it difficult for them to recognize the emotional impact of their actions on others.
Habitual behavior: Sometimes, a person's hurtful behavior may have become ingrained over time as a habitual response to various situations. They may not even realize the negative impact it has on others because they have become desensitized to it.
It's essential to remember that every individual is unique, and the reasons for their behavior can be complex and multifaceted. Addressing this type of behavior requires open communication, empathy, and understanding. If you find yourself dealing with someone who consistently disregards the impact of their actions on others, it may be helpful to encourage them to seek therapy or professional help to explore and address the underlying reasons behind their behavior.