It is possible that a trauma bonding dynamic could have developed between you and your mother, and it may be influencing your current relationship. Trauma bonding is a psychological phenomenon that occurs when intense emotional experiences, especially those related to trauma or crisis situations, create a strong bond between individuals.
Trauma bonding typically involves the following elements:
Shared Traumatic Experience: Going through a traumatic event together can create a unique and powerful emotional connection between people who experienced it side by side.
Dependence on Each Other: In the aftermath of a traumatic event, individuals may rely on each other for support, safety, and comfort, reinforcing the bond between them.
Intermittent Reinforcement: Trauma bonding can be strengthened when the individuals involved experience both positive and negative interactions, creating an addictive cycle of highs and lows.
Isolation from Others: Trauma bonding can lead to a sense of exclusivity, where the individuals involved feel that only they truly understand each other's experiences, leading to a disconnection from others.
While trauma bonding can initially create a sense of closeness and connection, over time, it can also lead to dysfunctional relationship patterns and communication difficulties. As time passes, unresolved trauma or unprocessed emotions may continue to affect the relationship, leading to conflicts and distance.
If you find that your relationship with your mother has become strained, it may be helpful to consider seeking professional support. Counseling or therapy can offer a safe space to explore and address any underlying trauma, emotional wounds, and communication challenges. A mental health professional can help both of you gain insight into your feelings and experiences, improve communication, and work toward healing the relationship.
Remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a courageous step toward personal growth and healthier relationships. It's essential to take care of your emotional well-being and address any unresolved issues to foster healthier connections with loved ones.