Experiencing this kind of situation can be frustrating and disheartening. There could be various reasons why people complain about someone being quiet but don't seem to listen or remember when they do talk. Here are some potential explanations:
Introversion and extraversion differences: People have different personality traits, and some individuals may be naturally more introverted, preferring to listen and observe rather than talk excessively. This difference in communication styles can lead to misunderstandings or discomfort in social situations.
Lack of active listening: Some individuals may not be skilled at active listening, which means they might not fully concentrate on what you're saying or fail to remember the details. This can happen for various reasons, such as distractions, preoccupation with their thoughts, or a lack of interest.
Preconceived notions: If others are accustomed to you being quiet, they might have formed preconceived notions about your communication abilities. As a result, when you do speak up, they may not give your words the attention they deserve or remember them as well as they would for someone who is more talkative.
Lack of connection or interest: People tend to remember information better when they have a personal connection or interest in the subject matter or the person speaking. If others have not connected with you on a deeper level, they might not pay as much attention or retain the information you share.
Social dynamics: In some social situations, certain individuals might dominate conversations, leaving little room for others to be heard. If you are quieter and less assertive in such settings, it can be challenging to make your voice heard.
Confirmation bias: Some people may have a bias towards perceiving quiet individuals as less interesting or having less to say. This bias can affect how they listen to and remember your contributions to conversations.
Communication clarity: It's possible that, when you do speak up, your message may not be communicated as clearly as you intend, leading to misunderstandings or a lack of retention.
To address this issue, consider the following strategies:
Be assertive: When you want to speak, do so assertively but respectfully. Make sure you are confident in your communication.
Practice active listening: Lead by example and show active listening when others speak. This may encourage them to reciprocate.
Choose your audience: Spend time with individuals who appreciate and respect your communication style, allowing for more meaningful interactions.
Work on communication skills: If you feel your message is not being effectively conveyed, work on improving your communication skills to express yourself more clearly and confidently.
Engage in topics of mutual interest: When discussing things that interest both you and the other person, they are more likely to pay attention and remember the conversation.
Remember that effective communication involves both speaking and listening. It's essential to find a balance between sharing your thoughts and being a receptive listener. Over time, as people get to know you better and become more familiar with your communication style, they may become more attentive and responsive.