It's understandable that you find your husband's action of placing his hand on your arm to signal you to stop talking upsetting. Communication within a relationship is crucial, and it's essential to address any issues that cause discomfort or upset.
Here are some steps you can take to handle the situation:
Talk to your husband: Find a private and calm moment to discuss your feelings with your husband. Express how his action makes you feel and why it upsets you. Use "I" statements to convey your emotions, such as "I feel hurt when you touch my arm to signal me to stop talking."
Listen to his perspective: Allow your husband to share his reasons for using this signal. It's possible that he might not be aware of how it affects you or that he has a different intention behind the gesture. Active listening will help you understand his viewpoint better.
Discuss communication preferences: Have an open conversation about how both of you can communicate better during social interactions. Share your preferences for cues or gestures that would be more comfortable for you, and encourage him to do the same.
Set boundaries and signals: Agree on boundaries and signals that work for both of you during social situations. If there are times when you want him to intervene, find a subtle and respectful way to convey that to him in advance.
Seek compromise: Find a middle ground that respects both of your communication styles. It's essential to compromise and make adjustments to ensure that both of you feel heard and respected during social interactions.
Practice respect in public: If either of you has something to say during social events, try to find a private moment to communicate rather than signaling each other in front of friends. This will prevent any potential embarrassment or discomfort.
Consider couples counseling: If the issue persists or the conversation becomes challenging, seeking the help of a couples counselor can be beneficial. A neutral third party can facilitate open communication and help you work through any underlying issues.
Remember, open and honest communication is the key to resolving conflicts and maintaining a healthy relationship. It's essential to express your feelings and needs while also being receptive to your partner's feelings and perspectives. Working together to find solutions that respect both of your preferences will strengthen your relationship and create a more positive and supportive dynamic.