When someone continues to be passive-aggressive towards you even after you've told them that it upsets you, there could be several reasons behind their behavior:
Defense mechanism: The person might be using passive-aggressive behavior as a defense mechanism to avoid confronting their feelings or fears directly. They may feel uncomfortable expressing their emotions openly and resort to passive-aggressiveness as a way to protect themselves from vulnerability.
Control and manipulation: Some individuals use passive-aggressive behavior as a means to control or manipulate others. By being indirectly aggressive, they may seek to make you feel guilty, insecure, or uncertain about the situation, gaining a sense of power over you.
Habitual response: For some people, being passive-aggressive could be a deeply ingrained behavioral pattern they've developed over time. Changing these patterns can be difficult, even when they recognize the negative impact it has on their relationships.
Difficulty in communication: The person might struggle with effective communication skills, making it challenging for them to express their emotions or concerns in a healthy way. Passive-aggressive behavior becomes their default response in such situations.
Resentment or unresolved issues: There could be underlying resentment or unresolved issues between you and the person, and their passive-aggressive behavior might be a way of expressing their dissatisfaction without directly addressing the root cause.
Seeking attention: Sometimes, people engage in passive-aggressive behavior to gain attention or to test your reaction to their actions. They might be looking for reassurance or affirmation from you.
Fear of conflict: The person may be afraid of confrontation or conflict, and being passive-aggressive might be their way of avoiding direct disagreements or difficult conversations.
Emotional immaturity: Some individuals lack emotional maturity, which can lead to inappropriate responses and an inability to handle emotions and conflicts in a healthy manner.
It's important to note that while understanding the reasons behind someone's behavior can be helpful, it does not excuse their actions. Repeatedly being passive-aggressive towards someone, especially after being made aware of its negative impact, is not a healthy or respectful way to handle relationships. If you find yourself in such a situation, consider setting clear boundaries, communicating openly, and, if necessary, seeking support from a counselor or mediator to address the underlying issues.