Deciding whether to reach out to a family member, especially in challenging situations like this, can be a complex and emotionally charged decision. Here are a few things to consider before making your choice:
Emotional well-being: Consider how you will feel after the call, knowing that your grandma may misgender and deadname you. It could be emotionally taxing, and you need to prioritize your own well-being.
Boundaries: Reflect on your boundaries and values. If maintaining your mental and emotional well-being means limiting contact with someone who is transphobic, it is essential to honor those boundaries.
Intentions: Be clear about your intentions for the call. Are you reaching out because you genuinely want to check on her well-being and show compassion, or do you feel obligated by guilt or societal expectations?
Expectations: Prepare yourself for the possibility that your grandma may not change her views or behavior during the call. If you decide to reach out, do it with realistic expectations.
Support system: Ensure you have a support system in place, such as friends or other family members who are understanding and supportive of your identity.
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make. If you feel comfortable doing so and believe the potential benefits outweigh the emotional challenges, you can try reaching out to your grandma. It could be an opportunity to express your concerns about her well-being and potentially discuss your feelings about her transphobic views. However, if you decide not to call, it's also okay to prioritize your emotional well-being and focus on nurturing relationships with those who accept and support you.
Remember that it's essential to take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who respect and affirm your identity.