Addressing this situation requires open communication and diplomacy to maintain a positive relationship with your guest. Here are some steps you can take to handle the situation tactfully:
Private conversation: Find a time to talk privately with the guest who keeps inviting their own guests. This can be in person or via a private message if it feels more comfortable.
Be appreciative: Start the conversation by expressing your gratitude for their interest in attending your functions and for being considerate enough to ask before inviting others. It's essential to establish a positive tone from the beginning.
Share your perspective: Explain how you and your husband enjoy hosting intimate gatherings with close friends and family, and that you prefer to know the number of guests in advance to ensure everyone feels comfortable and well-catered for.
Explain the impact: Politely explain that when additional guests are invited, it can put a strain on your resources, such as food, seating, and space. Let them know that you want to make sure every guest feels welcomed and that it's easier to achieve this when you know who will be attending in advance.
Suggest alternatives: Offer other ways for your guest to socialize with their friends, such as suggesting that they plan their own gathering or recommending public events they can attend together.
Set boundaries: Kindly let them know that while you appreciate their understanding and respect for asking, you would prefer if they refrain from inviting additional guests to your functions going forward.
Be understanding: Listen to their perspective as well, as there might be reasons why they keep inviting their own guests. It could be that they are trying to help you by bringing more people or they might not fully realize the impact of their actions.
Remain firm but polite: Reiterate your desire for intimate gatherings and the importance of knowing the guest list in advance, while maintaining a respectful and understanding tone.
Offer alternatives for larger gatherings: If you are open to hosting larger events occasionally, let them know that you'll inform them when you plan to have a bigger function in the future.
Follow up with gratitude: After the conversation, express your gratitude again for their understanding and for respecting your wishes.
Remember, communication is key, and approaching the situation with empathy and understanding will help ensure a positive outcome for everyone involved.