Addressing this situation with sensitivity and tact is essential to maintain a healthy relationship with your friend. Here are some steps you can follow to communicate your feelings while being respectful:
Choose the right time and place: Find an appropriate time and private setting to talk to your friend. Avoid discussing sensitive matters in public or when emotions are running high.
Express gratitude: Start the conversation by expressing appreciation for her willingness to attend the dinner. Acknowledge that you value her company and look forward to spending time together.
Use "I" statements: Frame your concerns using "I" statements to make it clear that you are expressing your personal feelings and preferences, rather than making judgments about her or the baby. For example, "I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind."
Be honest and gentle: Share your feelings openly but gently. You can say something like, "I hope you understand that I was planning this dinner to be a 'grown-ups only' event, and I was really looking forward to having some adult time with you."
Offer empathy: Show understanding for her situation as a grandparent and her desire to spend time with her grandchild. Empathize with her position and emotions.
Explain the reason: Provide a clear explanation for your preference. You can mention that you had intended the dinner to be an opportunity for adults to have meaningful conversations without distractions.
Suggest an alternative: If possible, offer an alternative plan that allows you to spend time together without the baby present. For instance, you could suggest meeting up for lunch or coffee another day when the baby can be with someone else.
Reiterate your friendship: Remind your friend of the value you place on your friendship and that this preference does not change your affection for her or her grandchild.
Be open to compromise: Be willing to listen to her perspective and be open to finding a compromise that works for both of you.
Respect her decision: Ultimately, it's essential to respect her decision even if she insists on bringing the baby. You can choose whether or not to attend the dinner based on her response, but try to avoid causing tension or conflict over the matter.
Remember, communication is key in any relationship, and handling this situation with empathy and understanding will help maintain a positive connection with your friend.