It's understandable that you want to help your mother understand that your anxiety attack is not her fault. Here are some steps you can take to have a constructive conversation with her:
Choose the right time and place: Find a quiet and comfortable setting where you can talk openly without distractions or interruptions.
Express your feelings: Start by expressing your love and appreciation for your mother. Let her know that you understand she cares for you deeply and that you value her support.
Assure her it's not her fault: Clearly communicate that anxiety attacks are not caused by someone else's actions. They are complex reactions that can result from various factors, including genetics, life events, stress, and brain chemistry. Emphasize that you do not blame her for what happened.
Educate about anxiety: Help your mother understand what anxiety is and how it can manifest in anxiety attacks. Explain that anxiety disorders are medical conditions that many people experience, and they are not solely the result of parenting or external factors.
Share your coping strategies: Let your mother know how you are working on managing your anxiety. Talk about any therapies, techniques, or self-help strategies you are using to improve your mental well-being. This can provide reassurance that you are taking steps to take care of yourself.
Encourage open communication: Encourage your mother to share her feelings and concerns as well. This will allow both of you to have an honest and supportive conversation.
Suggest professional help: If you haven't already sought professional help for your anxiety, consider discussing this option with your mother. Seeking guidance from a mental health professional can provide you with valuable tools to cope with anxiety and may also help your mother understand the condition better.
Be patient and empathetic: Remember that it might take time for your mother to fully absorb and accept what you're telling her. Be patient and empathetic throughout the process. Reassure her that you love her and that she is an important part of your support system.
Seek family therapy: If the feelings of guilt and blame persist, you might consider family therapy or counseling together. A therapist can help facilitate communication and provide a safe space for both of you to express your emotions.
Remember, it's not your responsibility to change your mother's feelings, but being open and honest about your own perspective can lead to a deeper understanding between the two of you. If you find the conversation particularly challenging or emotional, consider involving a mental health professional to facilitate the discussion and provide additional support.