I can offer some general insights that may help you understand why your affair partner acted this way.
Emotional Roller Coaster: Going through a divorce is an emotionally tumultuous time for anyone. Your affair partner might have been seeking emotional support and companionship during this difficult period. Once the divorce was final, they might have felt more stable emotionally and realized that the affair was not the best decision for them in the long run.
Guilt and Remorse: People can experience guilt and remorse after an affair, especially when it involves someone going through a divorce. As the divorce was finalized, they might have faced the reality of their actions and felt it was time to end the affair.
Emotional Detachment: Sometimes, affairs can be driven by emotional needs rather than genuine long-term compatibility. As their divorce came to a close, they may have reevaluated their feelings and realized that they were not as emotionally invested in the affair as they initially thought.
Projection: Accusing you of being toxic may be a way for them to deflect responsibility or to cope with their own feelings of guilt. It's essential to take their accusation with a grain of salt and honestly assess your own actions and behavior.
Fear of Commitment: Some people involved in affairs may struggle with the idea of committing to a new relationship, especially after coming out of a marriage. Their fear of commitment could lead them to end the affair once the divorce was finalized.
Moving On: After the divorce, your affair partner might have decided that it was time to move on and start a new chapter in their life without the complexities of an affair.
It's important to recognize that affairs are often complicated and emotionally charged situations, and it can be challenging to make sense of all the emotions involved. It's natural to feel hurt and confused after being in such a situation. Take the time to process your emotions and consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you cope with the aftermath of the affair.
Remember that everyone involved in an affair shares responsibility, and it's essential to focus on personal growth and learning from the experience to make healthier choices in the future.