There can be several reasons why a client might ask their psychotherapist for help with something but display hesitance, withdrawal, or avoidance when it comes to receiving that help. Here are some possible explanations:
Fear of Change: The client may recognize the need for help and genuinely want to improve their situation, but they could also be afraid of the changes that may come with addressing their issues. Change can be intimidating and unsettling, even when it's positive. The client might feel more comfortable with the familiar, even if it is causing them distress.
Fear of Vulnerability: Seeking help often requires opening up and being vulnerable with the therapist. Some individuals find it difficult to share their emotions, thoughts, and experiences due to past negative experiences, fear of judgment, or concerns about their emotional safety.
Past Trauma: If the client has a history of trauma, the therapeutic process may trigger painful memories or emotions. As a result, they might retreat or dissociate as a defense mechanism to protect themselves from overwhelming feelings.
Ambivalence: The client may have mixed feelings about change or may hold conflicting beliefs about the value of therapy. They could simultaneously desire help while also doubting its effectiveness or fearing the process.
Lack of Trust: Building trust is a crucial aspect of the therapeutic relationship. If the client has difficulty trusting the therapist or has experienced trust issues in the past, they might struggle to fully engage in the therapeutic process.
Self-Sabotage: Some clients may engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, often unconsciously, which can interfere with their progress in therapy. This can stem from feelings of unworthiness or a fear of success.
Difficulty Expressing Needs: The client might struggle with articulating their needs or may not be entirely aware of what they need from therapy. This difficulty in communication can lead to hesitance and withdrawal.
Cultural or Social Stigma: In some cultures or social circles, seeking help for mental health issues can be stigmatized. The client may feel pressure from others not to engage fully in therapy, which can lead to resistance and withdrawal.
It is essential for the therapist to create a safe and nonjudgmental space, allowing the client to explore and express their concerns openly. Understanding and addressing the reasons behind the hesitance and withdrawal can be an essential part of the therapeutic process, helping the client work through these challenges and engage more effectively in therapy. Patience, empathy, and genuine support from the therapist can contribute to building a stronger therapeutic alliance and addressing the client's underlying concerns.