It's understandable that traumatic experiences, such as getting beaten up, can have long-lasting effects on your emotional well-being. Holding onto feelings of anger and wanting to retaliate after such a significant event is not uncommon.
If you find it challenging to get over past traumas and move forward without wanting to retaliate, here are some steps you might consider taking:
Seek professional help: Consider reaching out to a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who specializes in trauma and post-traumatic stress. They can help you work through the emotional pain, process the trauma, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize that it's okay to feel the way you do. Trauma can have a profound impact, and healing takes time and effort. Avoid blaming yourself for your reactions or emotions.
Engage in mindfulness techniques: Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce feelings of anger or the need to retaliate.
Reach out for support: Talk to friends, family members, or support groups about your feelings and experiences. Sometimes sharing your story with empathetic and understanding listeners can provide relief.
Consider forgiveness: Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning the actions of those who hurt you. It's a process of letting go of the anger and resentment that may be holding you back. This doesn't have to happen overnight and may require support and guidance.
Engage in healthy outlets: Find constructive ways to channel your emotions and energy, such as through physical exercise, creative expression, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy.
Educate yourself about trauma: Understanding the effects of trauma can help you make sense of your reactions and responses. Reading about trauma and its impact might provide some clarity and perspective.
Set boundaries: If there are individuals or situations triggering your feelings, it's essential to establish healthy boundaries to protect yourself emotionally.
Remember that healing from trauma is a process, and there is no right or wrong timeline for recovery. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. If you find that your feelings are overwhelming and impacting your daily life significantly, don't hesitate to seek professional help to guide you through the healing process.