In many cases, covert narcissists, like other types of narcissists, often seek out new sources of narcissistic supply upon discarding or losing their current supply. Narcissistic supply refers to the attention, admiration, and validation they crave to bolster their fragile self-esteem. This can come from romantic partners, friends, family members, or even co-workers.
When a covert narcissist discards someone, it could be a romantic partner or a close friend, they may start searching for a new source of supply to fill the void left by the previous one. Here are a few reasons why they tend to seek out new supply:
Fear of Being Alone: Covert narcissists often have deep-seated fears of abandonment and being alone. They may jump from one relationship to another quickly to avoid feeling empty or unworthy.
Need for Validation: Narcissists rely on external validation to feel good about themselves. Having a new supply allows them to receive the attention and admiration they crave to maintain their self-esteem.
Escaping Responsibility: A new supply can distract the covert narcissist from facing the consequences of their actions or taking responsibility for their behavior in the previous relationship.
Maintaining the False Self: Narcissists construct a false self to mask their insecurities and vulnerabilities. Having a new supply helps them maintain this false image and avoid introspection or self-reflection.
Idealization Phase: During the initial stages of a new relationship, the covert narcissist may idealize their new supply, showering them with attention, love, and affection. This phase provides a sense of excitement and control for the narcissist.
It's important to note that not all covert narcissists immediately seek out new supply after discarding someone. Some may take time to recover from the loss of their previous supply or may engage in other manipulative behaviors, such as hoovering (attempts to rekindle the relationship with the discarded person) before moving on to a new target.
If you have experienced a relationship with a covert narcissist and are concerned about the impact it has had on your well-being, seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be helpful in healing and setting healthy boundaries for the future.