Feeling angry when someone doesn't keep their word is a common emotional response, and it can be attributed to several reasons:
Trust and Reliability: When someone breaks their promises or doesn't keep their word, it can erode the trust you have in them. Trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship, and when it's broken, it can lead to feelings of disappointment, frustration, and anger.
Disappointment: When someone fails to keep their word, it can lead to a sense of disappointment. You may have had expectations based on their promise, and when those expectations aren't met, it can result in anger.
Sense of Respect: Keeping promises is a sign of respect for the other person's time, feelings, and commitments. When someone doesn't follow through on their word, it can be perceived as disrespectful, leading to feelings of anger.
Communication Breakdown: Broken promises can sometimes indicate a breakdown in communication or a lack of understanding between individuals. This breakdown can contribute to frustration and anger.
Perceived Unreliability: Consistency and reliability are important traits in any relationship. When someone repeatedly fails to keep their word, it may lead to feelings of uncertainty and frustration, further fueling anger.
Emotional Investment: If you emotionally invest in the promises made by someone, their failure to keep their word can feel like a personal letdown, intensifying your anger.
Sense of Control: Broken promises can make you feel like you have lost control over a situation, leading to feelings of helplessness and anger.
To manage your anger in such situations, consider the following steps:
Take a moment: When you feel anger rising due to broken promises, take a moment to pause and collect your thoughts. Avoid reacting immediately, as it might exacerbate the situation.
Communicate calmly: Express your feelings to the person calmly and assertively. Use "I" statements to convey how their actions made you feel without placing blame.
Set boundaries: If someone repeatedly breaks their promises, consider setting boundaries and reevaluating the level of trust you place in them.
Manage expectations: Be mindful of your expectations and recognize that people may not always be able to fulfill their promises due to various reasons.
Forgiveness: If it was a genuine mistake or a one-time incident, consider forgiving the person and giving them a chance to make amends.
Learn from it: Use the situation as an opportunity for growth and understanding. Reflect on why their broken promise triggered such a strong reaction in you.
Choose your company: Surround yourself with people who value keeping their word and are reliable, which can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
Remember that while it's natural to feel angry when promises are broken, how you respond to that anger is crucial for maintaining positive relationships and your emotional well-being.