It's not uncommon for people to experience overthinking and a desire for better responses after conversations, especially during social interactions. The good news is that there are strategies you can try to help you become more present and spontaneous in conversations again. Here are some tips to help you with that:
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness involves being fully present and aware of the current moment without judgment. Practicing mindfulness regularly can help you become more focused during conversations and reduce overthinking. Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, and body scans can be beneficial.
Active listening: Focus on listening actively to the other person during the conversation rather than worrying about what you'll say next. When you listen attentively, it can help you respond more naturally and appropriately to what's being said.
Slow down: Take your time to respond during conversations. There's no rush to provide an answer immediately. Give yourself a moment to process the information and then respond thoughtfully.
Embrace imperfection: Understand that it's okay not to have the perfect response every time. Embrace the fact that conversations are fluid, and it's natural to have moments when you don't have the ideal answer.
Join social groups or clubs: Engaging in social activities can provide you with more opportunities to practice spontaneous conversations in a relaxed and supportive environment. This can help build your confidence and reduce anxiety.
Role-play or practice with friends: You can ask a trusted friend to engage in role-play scenarios with you to practice spontaneous responses. This can help you become more comfortable with various conversation topics.
Challenge negative thoughts: If you notice yourself becoming self-critical or anxious about conversations, challenge those negative thoughts. Remind yourself that it's okay to be imperfect and that everyone has their moments of silence or hesitation in conversations.
Seek professional help: If your anxiety or overthinking significantly impacts your daily life or causes distress, consider talking to a mental health professional. They can provide additional strategies tailored to your specific needs and help you work through any underlying issues.
Remember that change takes time and practice, so be patient with yourself as you work on becoming more spontaneous in conversations. Celebrate the progress you make, no matter how small, and keep pushing forward. With consistent effort and self-compassion, you can regain some of that spontaneity and enjoy more relaxed social interactions.