Narcissists may employ various inhuman or emotionally manipulative techniques when leaving their partners, as their primary focus tends to be on fulfilling their own needs and desires without considering the well-being of their partners. These techniques can be devastating for the partner involved and can cause long-lasting emotional harm. Some of these techniques include:
Gaslighting: Narcissists often use gaslighting techniques to make their partners doubt their perception of reality and question their own sanity. They may deny or distort events, emotions, or conversations to make their partners feel confused and destabilized.
Devaluation and Discarding: In the idealization phase of a relationship, the narcissist may shower their partner with love and affection. However, once they feel they have gained control or their partner is no longer as useful to them, they shift to devaluing and criticizing their partner, often leading to a sudden and cold discard.
Silent Treatment: Narcissists may use the silent treatment as a way to punish and control their partners. They will ignore them for extended periods, causing emotional distress and feelings of abandonment.
Blame-shifting: Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, narcissists often blame their partners for any issues or conflicts in the relationship. They deflect accountability and make their partners feel guilty for things that are not their fault.
Triangulation: Narcissists might involve a third person, such as an ex-partner or a potential new romantic interest, to create jealousy and insecurity in their current partner. This tactic is used to maintain control and keep their partner emotionally dependent on them.
Hoovering: After discarding their partner, narcissists may attempt to "hoover" them back into the relationship by showing false remorse, love-bombing, or promising to change. This cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discard can repeat if the partner falls back into the trap.
Isolating the Partner: Narcissists may isolate their partners from friends and family, creating a sense of dependency on the narcissist and making it harder for the partner to seek support or leave the relationship.
Financial and Emotional Abuse: Narcissists may exploit their partner's emotions and finances to gain control over them. They may use financial manipulation or emotional threats to keep their partner trapped in the relationship.
It's important to recognize that not all individuals with narcissistic traits will engage in these behaviors, and these behaviors are not exclusive to narcissists. However, in relationships with narcissists, these techniques are more likely to occur due to their self-centered and manipulative nature. If you or someone you know is dealing with a relationship involving a narcissistic partner, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be crucial for understanding and navigating the complexities of such relationships.