It's not uncommon for narcissists to speak positively about their ex-partners, even if they exhibit narcissistic traits themselves. There are several potential reasons why a narcissist might do this:
Seeking Validation: Narcissists crave validation and admiration from others. By speaking positively about their ex-partner, they may hope to gain validation from their current audience, making themselves appear magnanimous and mature.
Maintaining a Positive Image: Narcissists often prioritize maintaining a positive image and may fear being perceived negatively. By speaking well of their ex, they attempt to avoid criticism or judgment from others.
Securing Future Relationships: A narcissist may believe that praising their ex-partner will make them seem more appealing to potential future partners. They may use their ex's positive attributes to suggest that they have high standards and are desirable as a partner.
Gaslighting: Narcissists are skilled manipulators, and they may use positive statements about their ex to undermine any negative perceptions their current partner might have about them. This can be a form of gaslighting, where they try to make their partner doubt their own judgment and feelings.
Hoovering: In some cases, a narcissist might maintain a positive façade about their ex-partner as a part of their manipulation strategy. This is especially true if they want to rekindle the relationship with the ex or keep them as a backup option.
Idealization and Devaluation Cycle: Narcissists often engage in an idealization and devaluation cycle in their relationships. During the idealization phase, they might praise their partner excessively, but as the relationship progresses, they may start devaluing them.
It's important to recognize that while a narcissist may speak positively about their ex-partner, their actions and behaviors within the relationship might have been manipulative, exploitative, or harmful. The positive statements about the ex might be just another tool in the narcissist's toolbox for controlling and manipulating others.
If you're dealing with a narcissist or someone with narcissistic traits, it's crucial to be aware of their patterns of behavior and set healthy boundaries to protect yourself emotionally and mentally. Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be beneficial in navigating relationships with narcissistic individuals.