It's not uncommon for individuals, including your boyfriend, to shut others out when they are in a bad mood. There could be various reasons why he behaves this way:
Emotional Regulation: Some people find it challenging to manage their emotions effectively, especially when they are upset or in a bad mood. As a result, they may withdraw and shut others out as a way to cope with their feelings.
Need for Space: When someone is feeling overwhelmed or upset, they might need time and space alone to process their emotions and thoughts. Shutting others out can be a way to create that space.
Fear of Overreacting: Your boyfriend might be afraid that if he engages with you while in a bad mood, he might say or do something hurtful. So, he distances himself to avoid any potential conflict or negative impact on the relationship.
Avoidance of Burdening Others: He may not want to burden you with his negative emotions or problems and feels it's better to keep his distance to protect you from his mood.
Past Experiences: If he has had negative experiences in the past where expressing his emotions led to adverse consequences, he might have learned to withdraw as a defense mechanism.
Communication Difficulties: Some people struggle to communicate their feelings effectively. Instead of expressing themselves, they might shut down and isolate themselves.
Coping Mechanism: For some individuals, withdrawing is a coping mechanism they've learned to deal with stress or difficult emotions.
It's important to remember that everyone has their way of coping with emotions, and not all coping mechanisms are necessarily healthy or effective. If this behavior becomes a consistent pattern and starts causing distress in your relationship, it's essential to address it through open and honest communication.
Here are some suggestions for handling this situation:
Give Him Space: If you notice he's shutting you out, respect his need for space. Avoid pushing him to talk or engage until he feels ready.
Communicate Your Feelings: Let him know how his behavior affects you and your relationship. Be honest and assertive but also understanding of his perspective.
Offer Support: Express your willingness to listen and be there for him when he's ready to talk, but also make it clear that you won't force him to share if he's not comfortable.
Encourage Healthy Communication: Encourage open and honest communication in your relationship. Show that you value his feelings and opinions, even during difficult times.
Set Boundaries: If his behavior becomes emotionally taxing for you, set boundaries to protect your well-being while still being empathetic and understanding.
Suggest Professional Help: If his behavior is causing significant distress and affecting your relationship, suggest seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help him explore and address his emotions more effectively.
Remember that addressing these issues in a relationship requires effort and understanding from both partners. It's essential to create a safe and supportive environment where both of you can communicate openly and work through challenges together.