In borderline personality disorder (BPD), individuals often develop intense and unstable relationships, including what is known as a "favorite person" or FP. A favorite person is someone with whom a person with BPD becomes deeply attached and emotionally dependent on. The concept of a favorite person is not officially recognized in the diagnostic criteria for BPD, but it is frequently discussed in online communities and personal experiences of those living with the disorder.
When a person with BPD finds a new favorite person, it doesn't necessarily mean they completely drop the old one. However, the dynamics of their relationships can become complicated and challenging for both the individual with BPD and those around them. Here are some possible scenarios:
Intense focus on the new favorite person: When someone with BPD finds a new FP, they may become infatuated with this person and devote a lot of their time, energy, and emotional investment towards them. This can lead to neglecting or distancing themselves from the previous favorite person.
Rapid shifts in attachment: Individuals with BPD often experience intense emotional fluctuations and can quickly switch between idealizing and devaluing people. So, they might still hold their previous FP in high regard at times, but then suddenly become critical or distant from them.
Splitting: Splitting is a defense mechanism common in BPD where a person sees others as all good or all bad, with no gray area. They might idealize the new favorite person while devaluing the old one.
Conflicting feelings and behaviors: The person with BPD might experience conflicting emotions and struggles, trying to navigate their intense attachment to both the old and new FP. This internal turmoil can lead to impulsive or unpredictable behavior.
Abandonment fears: When someone with BPD perceives a shift in their relationships, they may fear abandonment, which can amplify their emotional reactions and lead to more extreme behaviors.
It's essential to remember that each individual with BPD is unique, and not everyone with the disorder experiences the concept of a favorite person in the same way. Some people with BPD may not relate to this idea at all, while others might find it prevalent in their lives.
It's important for individuals with BPD to seek professional help, such as therapy or counseling, to learn healthier ways of coping with emotions and managing their relationships. Additionally, friends and family members of someone with BPD should be patient, understanding, and supportive, as managing these intense relationships can be challenging for everyone involved.