Discovering that your husband of 35 years is gay can be an emotionally challenging and complex situation. It's natural to have a wide range of feelings and reactions when faced with such news. However, whether you should take it personally depends on various factors and your individual perspective.
Here are some points to consider:
Sexual Orientation is Personal: It's important to remember that your husband's sexual orientation is about his personal identity and not a reflection of your worth or desirability as a partner. His disclosure may have more to do with his self-discovery and acceptance rather than any shortcomings on your part.
The Nature of the Relationship: A long-term relationship like a 35-year marriage involves shared history, love, and connection. Learning that your partner has realized a significant aspect of their identity that they hadn't fully understood or accepted earlier can be shocking and may elicit feelings of hurt and betrayal.
Honesty and Openness: It's essential to recognize that your husband's disclosure might have been a courageous act of honesty. If he has come to terms with his sexual orientation, it could be seen as a step towards authenticity and living a more genuine life.
Time for Processing: Give yourself time to process this information and the emotions that arise. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate through this challenging time.
Reevaluating the Relationship: The revelation of your husband's sexual orientation may prompt you to reevaluate the nature of your relationship. It might lead to conversations about whether you both want to continue the marriage in a different form, or if separation is the best path forward.
Self-Reflection: This situation may prompt you to reflect on your own needs, desires, and aspirations in life. It could be an opportunity to rediscover your own identity and consider what you want for your future.
Compassion and Understanding: Try to approach the situation with compassion and understanding, both for yourself and your husband. This is likely a challenging time for both of you, and having empathy can help navigate the complexities of the situation.
Ultimately, whether you take it personally or not is a personal decision. It's essential to focus on your emotional well-being, seek support, and make choices that align with your values and needs. If necessary, seeking professional counseling can be beneficial in helping you work through your feelings and make informed decisions about your future.