It's understandable that your husband might feel upset or angry if he discovers that you've been doing your sister's house cleaning and laundry, including her husband's, behind his back for an extended period of time. Such a situation could potentially raise several concerns in a relationship:
Trust: Keeping a significant action like this a secret from your husband might lead to a breach of trust. He might wonder why you felt the need to hide it from him and question what else you might be keeping from him.
Time and Energy: Doing extra household chores for an extended period can be physically and emotionally draining. Your husband may feel hurt that you've been investing so much time and energy in someone else's household without his knowledge.
Prioritization: Your husband may perceive this act as you prioritizing your sister's household over your own. He might wonder why you felt compelled to help them to this extent without discussing it with him first.
Boundaries: From your husband's perspective, it could appear that you crossed boundaries by taking on tasks that are typically reserved for family members or household members. He might feel that it's not appropriate for you to be doing such extensive chores for your sister's family without discussing it with him.
To address this situation, it's crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your husband. Be prepared to explain your reasons for doing the house cleaning and laundry and why you kept it a secret. Acknowledge any mistake in not discussing it with him earlier and show empathy for how he might feel about the situation.
During the conversation, try to understand his perspective as well. Listen to his concerns and feelings without becoming defensive. This discussion can provide an opportunity to set clear boundaries regarding helping family members and ensure that you both are on the same page about household responsibilities.
Ultimately, a healthy relationship is built on trust, communication, and understanding. By addressing the issue openly and respectfully, you can work together to strengthen your bond and ensure that both of you feel heard and valued in the relationship. If needed, you might also consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor to facilitate the discussion and find constructive ways to move forward.