It can be frustrating and hurtful when your spouse calls their mother in the middle of an argument between the two of you. While I don't have specific details about your situation, I can offer some general advice on how to handle this kind of situation:
Communicate your feelings: Talk to your husband about how his actions make you feel. Let him know that you find it disrespectful or hurtful when he calls his mother during an argument, as it seems like he's involving a third party in your private matters.
Choose an appropriate time for discussion: It's essential to discuss sensitive issues when both of you are calm and not in the heat of an argument. Find a time when you can sit down and have an open and honest conversation without any distractions.
Listen to his perspective: Allow your husband to express his reasons for calling his mother during arguments. He might have different intentions or perspectives on why he does it. Being open to understanding his point of view can help foster better communication.
Set boundaries together: Discuss boundaries that both of you are comfortable with when it comes to involving family members in your relationship issues. It might be helpful to establish guidelines on when it's appropriate to reach out to family and when it's best to focus on resolving conflicts between yourselves.
Seek professional help if needed: If communication and conflicts in your relationship are persistent and challenging to resolve, consider seeking the guidance of a couples counselor or therapist. A neutral third party can provide insights and tools to improve communication and conflict resolution.
Work on communication skills: Practice active listening and effective communication with each other. Try to understand each other's feelings, needs, and concerns during an argument without resorting to bringing in third parties.
Maintain a supportive relationship with in-laws: Encourage a healthy and supportive relationship between your husband and his mother, but also emphasize the importance of preserving the privacy and boundaries of your marriage.
Remember that every relationship is unique, and it's essential to find solutions that work for both of you. Open communication and a willingness to understand each other's feelings and perspectives will be crucial in resolving this issue and strengthening your relationship.