When your ex-boyfriend says he still has feelings for you but wants to be friends with benefits and doesn't want a relationship, it means that he is interested in maintaining a physical and possibly emotional connection with you without committing to a formal romantic relationship. This arrangement is often characterized by casual intimacy without the responsibilities and expectations of a traditional partnership.
Here are some possible interpretations of his statement:
Physical Attraction: He might be primarily interested in the physical aspect of the relationship and wants to continue being intimate with you without the emotional commitments that come with a romantic relationship.
Fear of Commitment: He might have reservations about getting back into a full-fledged relationship due to past issues or fear of emotional vulnerability.
Convenience: Friends with benefits can offer some of the benefits of a relationship, such as companionship and physical intimacy, without the complexities and responsibilities of a committed partnership.
Uncertainty: He might still have feelings for you but is unsure about the long-term potential of the relationship, so he opts for a less-committed arrangement.
Testing the Waters: He might want to see how things go in a more casual setup before fully committing to a serious relationship again.
Avoiding Emotional Pain: He might fear the possibility of getting hurt again in a committed relationship, so he prefers a setup where emotional attachment is limited.
It's essential to consider your own feelings and needs in this situation. Friends with benefits arrangements can be complicated and emotionally challenging, especially when there are still lingering feelings involved. Before agreeing to such an arrangement, ask yourself if it aligns with your desires and whether it will lead to a fulfilling and healthy situation for you.
If you are seeking a committed relationship and your ex-boyfriend is not willing to offer that, it might be best to set clear boundaries and prioritize your emotional well-being. Entering a friends with benefits dynamic when you want more can lead to hurt and frustration.
Open communication is key in any relationship, and it's essential to have an honest conversation with your ex-boyfriend about your feelings and what you want moving forward. If your goals and desires don't align, it might be best to consider other options and focus on finding a partner who is on the same page as you are regarding a committed relationship.