Question

My friend wants to have a party to celebrate him paying off his mortgage. We are in our late 30s. Why do I feel like it's a subtle flex? I think it's unnecessary especially getting your friends to celebrate this. What do you think?

Answer 1

It's understandable that you might feel like your friend's party to celebrate paying off his mortgage is a subtle flex or unnecessary, especially if it makes you uncomfortable or seems boastful. However, different people have varying ways of celebrating personal achievements, and what might appear unnecessary or boastful to one person may be a meaningful milestone for another.

Here are a few things to consider:

1. Perspective: Try to understand your friend's perspective and motivations. Paying off a mortgage can be a significant financial accomplishment and a moment of pride for some individuals. They might genuinely want to share their joy and celebrate with friends.

2. Social Norms: Celebrating personal milestones, such as paying off a mortgage or other major achievements, is not uncommon in many cultures. Some people like to mark these occasions with their friends as a way of expressing gratitude and creating lasting memories.

3. Friendship Dynamics: Consider your friend's personality and the dynamics of your friendship. Is it possible that your friend might simply enjoy celebrating important life events with close friends, and it's not about showing off?

4. Communication: If the idea of the party makes you uncomfortable, it might be worth discussing your feelings with your friend. A respectful conversation can help clarify their intentions and provide insights into why they are hosting the event.

5. Your Feelings: Reflect on why you feel uncomfortable about the party. Are you envious of your friend's achievement, or does it remind you of your own financial situation? Understanding your feelings can help you address any underlying emotions.

6. Participation: You have the right to decide whether or not to attend the party. If you choose not to attend, you can politely explain your reasons to your friend.

Ultimately, different people have varying ways of celebrating their accomplishments, and what might seem unnecessary or boastful to one person might be a meaningful event for another. It's essential to communicate openly and respect each other's feelings in friendships. If you feel like your friend's celebration is causing tension or discomfort, addressing your concerns with them might lead to a better understanding of each other's perspectives.