Feeling excruciatingly painful or distressed when your therapist cancels a session can be attributed to several reasons, and it's essential to recognize that your emotional response is valid and understandable. Here are some possible reasons for such reactions:
Attachment and Trust: Over time, a strong bond of trust and attachment can develop between a client and their therapist. Therapeutic relationships are built on trust, and when a session is canceled, it might trigger feelings of abandonment or a disruption in the sense of security you have established.
Dependency on the Therapeutic Relationship: Therapy can become a significant source of support and validation in a person's life. When a session is canceled, it might leave you feeling vulnerable or without the emotional outlet you've grown accustomed to.
Anticipation and Preparation: You might have been looking forward to the session, and its cancellation can lead to a sense of disappointment and frustration. Additionally, mentally preparing for therapy can be an essential part of the therapeutic process, and a cancellation can disrupt that preparation.
Unresolved Issues: The cancellation might trigger past experiences of disappointment or abandonment, even if they were not directly related to therapy. It could unconsciously remind you of other situations where you felt let down.
Loss of Routine or Structure: Therapy sessions often provide a sense of routine and structure in a person's life. When a session is canceled, it can lead to a temporary loss of this predictability.
Current Emotional State: Sometimes, external events or emotions can magnify the impact of a cancellation. If you were already feeling vulnerable, stressed, or overwhelmed, a canceled session might affect you more profoundly.
It's important to discuss your feelings with your therapist during your next session. Therapists are typically aware of the potential impact of cancellations on their clients and are trained to address such concerns. They can help you process these emotions, understand the reasons behind your reaction, and explore coping strategies to manage the distress more effectively.
Additionally, it might be helpful to communicate your feelings and concerns about future cancellations with your therapist. They can discuss their cancellation policy and potential ways to handle such situations in the future to reduce distress.
Remember that therapy is a collaborative process, and open communication is crucial for building a strong therapeutic relationship. Your therapist is there to support you through challenging moments, including addressing any difficulties arising from session cancellations.